contemplation and creativity
If you want a reconciled outer world, reconcile your own inner world.
If you wish to find some outer stillness, find it within yourself.
If you notice other people’s irritability, let go of your own.
– Richard Rohr, The Naked Now.
to me, contemplation and creativity are two sides of the same coin.
each one comes from the other, and each one feeds the other in a beautiful and powerful symbiotic relationship. it is a relationship that lies at the heart of my experience of life, my calling and vocation, and how i seek to live as a creation of God in this world.
and a week and a half ago, i was preparing to witness an expression of this relationship at the very highest artistic level.
i got myself a ticket at the top of the second balcony of davies symphony hall in san francisco to see keith jarrett, an unrivaled master of the piano, in a solo concert.
now a keith jarrett solo concert is not merely a recital of previously written pieces of music. rather, it is a two-hour journey through his creative mind and soul. jarrett comes into the hall with no previously composed music. he creates music spontaneously through improvisation with a sense of sophistication and spirit that is hard to describe, a music that emerges from the very depths of his soul. it breaks commonly held musical barriers. it draws from seemingly endless and diverse sources of inspiration. and it is communicated with technique so deft and yet so heartfelt, it is really amazing to behold.
you could say i was pretty darn excited about being a part of such a transcendent experience.
because, to me, contemplation and creativity are two sides of the same coin.
the concert started off on an interesting note, with jarrett exploring all the possibilities of the piano itself – plucking and strumming the strings, lifting and dropping the cover on the keys, using different parts of the instrument rhythmically. it sounded a bit like distractions arising and then gradually subsiding.
then, the transcendence started.
jarrett built up a beautiful collection of harmonies and melodies from a single pedal point in the lower, left-hand section of the keyboard. and the music kept building and building, and the spirits were rising with it. then, all of a sudden, a hush came as the energy flowed into a moment of calm beauty, with jarrett gently coaxing a soothing lullaby from out of the depths of the instrument and, seemingly, the depths of his being.
then, it happened.
someone coughed.
from the front of the first balcony.
and jarrett stopped.
then, after a few moments of silence, he said, ‘beautifully played’, and went on with his playing. some soft chuckles emerged from the audience.
then, a few more coughs. the floodgates were opened.
and jarrett stopped.
and got up from the piano.
and went over to the microphone.
and began to lecture the audience about the need for silence in creativity, and the rudeness of not being able to control a cough in a setting such as this, and sarcastically wondering if people mistake ‘quiet’ with ‘cough’ and if music and mucus have some kind of relationship with each other.
he then sat down to create once again.
and the tension in the hall was thicker than the san francisco fog.
who would cough or breathe deeply next? how would jarrett respond? what about the music? what about the transcendence? it was all i could do to keep my focus on the creative experience at hand.
this calamity of ‘cough and response’ happened three more times. in the first half of the concert alone.
and the tension grew…the tension between artist and audience…the tension between expectation and experience.
the tension between contemplation and creativity.
two sides of the same coin.
at intermission, i left the stuffy confines of the hall and went out to get a breath of fresh air. i saw people leaving the hall with no intention on returning, commenting on the rudeness of jarrett as they made their way to the parking lots. i heard other people talking about the rudeness of the audience members who couldn’t keep quiet. i tossed my mixed thoughts and emotions around and around.
i headed back into the lobby. then i turned around and headed towards my car. then i headed to find a transcendent experience of another kind (namely, stopping by In-N-Out Burger for a double-double, fries and a chocolate shake).
i listened to jarrett’s music as i drove and dined. what majesty and mystery, what feel and focus, what sensuality and spirit. my imagination soared.
but soon my thoughts came crashing back down to earth.
for all of the giftedness jarrett posseses, what struck me was the garishness of his attitude towards his audience. for all of the depth of his artistry, what amazed me was the dearth of his attentiveness. for all of the lavishness of his creativity, what surprised me was the lack of his concentration.
his is an expression that comes from the recesses of the soul, a creation that comes from the contemplativeness of the spirit.
and for someone who seemingly could travel to a place where angelic singing is elicited from the darkness of the underworld, i was baffled by how easily distracted he was on the journey.
i saw a gifted artist projecting his own inner restlessness, unreconciled angst and entitled irritability onto an amazed and unsuspecting audience.
for him, at least on that night, contemplation and creativity were clearly not two sides of the same coin.
i’ve thought long and hard about my experience that night. i’ve read reviews of the show and follow-up essays on the show. i’ve even responded to a review with thoughts of my own (see the end of this blog post). and the more i’ve thought about it, the more it has caused me to think about my own contemplative and creative journey.
i’m a person who seeks to live a life grounded in a contemplative kind of peace. i try to stay awake to it and aware of its presence. i’m always looking for glimpses of it in a world addicted to busyness and productivity, consumption and competition, a world that i live in. i even write blog pieces about it (see the entry prior to this one).
and yet…
- how often do i find myself experiencing anything but peace as i look upon the injustice and lack of compassion and wisdom in the world?
- how often do i feel my inner temperature rising as i recognize the utter lack of respect people have for one another, and the seemingly insurmountable conflicts that keep people as enemies with only remote possibilities for reconciliation?
- how often am i simply distracted by seemingly trivial things that float through my brain?
- and how often do i want to lash out in anger at the madness of this world that i live in, all the distractions and delusions, all the imperfections and impossibilities?
and then…i pause for a moment to reflect. to contemplate.
and i see that my rage at the lack of justice and compassion in the world is really primarily a projection of the lack of justice and compassion within myself, towards myself.
i see that the rising of my inner temperature over the disrespect and conflicts that entrap our world are really only a reflection of a deeper disrespect i have for myself, and the burning conflict within myself between who i truly am and who i sense others expect me to be.
i see that the ease in which i am distracted from the depths of peace and joy that are present within me and around me is a symptom of a much greater dissatisfaction with who i am and an ever-deepening desire to fill eternal voids and heal eternal wounds with temporal remedies.
i see my desire to lash out in anger at the madness around me as a signal calling me to pay attention to the madness and anger within me before it eats me alive.
two planes of reality, different yet the same.
two parts of the person, different yet the same.
two sides of the same coin.
may this season of contemplation bring about a response – within me and without me – that reflects the beauty, the freedom, the mystery and majesty that comes from true creativity, of bringing something out of non-being into true being…the beautiful and powerful symbiotic relationship of temporality and transcendence, flesh and spirit, contemplation and creativity.
two sides of the same coin.
*Written in response to the review of the Jarrett concert by David Becker, SF Examiner:
‘i have been inspired by jarrett’s artistry for years now, and hesitantly bought a ticket for last friday’s concert (knowing his reputation for complaints during a concert). my understanding of what jarrett does and what meditation is meant to be is not by any means complete, but i do know that when one is in a meditative place and distractions come, the healthiest response is to quietly acknowledge them and then let them go. to stop in the midst of meditative creativity and to lash out at the sources of the distractions is not the most effective way to deal with the situation. and when people are paying to take part in the experience, and you as an artist have allowed them to do so (rather than simply recording in an empty hall) AND you are getting paid by them in the process, it is downright disrespectful to the entire experience to cry out like a petulant child because the audience isn’t meeting your standards of quiet. i was quiet the entire time i was there, and as a reflective, creative adult myself, i felt completely disrespected by a gifted artist completely consumed by his own sense of entitlement.
any kind of creative expression in a live setting is a communication, a two-way exchange, a relationship between artist and audience. i am a communicator by trade (minister) and approach my preaching as an improvisational art form (inspired by jazz music and artists such as mr. jarrett, among many others) – plenty of meditation and preparation, but then, no written ‘music’ when it’s time to share. when a cell phone goes off at a very quiet moment (like one did in both services yesterday), i could go off on how disrespectful it is to keep a cell phone on during worship, or i could use it as a part of my creative expression and move forward with the moment. i chose the latter, and all of us involved were better off for it.
part of an improviser’s calling is to respond to what is happening not only within but also around you…in no way is my artistic talent near the level of a keith jarrett, but that’s not the point. respecting your art AND your audience (who is a part of your art) IS…even if they show accidental disrespect in the process (and i don’t believe anyone entered the hall intended on coughing up a storm and ‘ruining’ the performance).
i traveled from missoula, montana in part to finally see mr. jarrett perform in person. i’m thankful to have had the experience of seeing him perform, but the first time will be the last time for me. and it pains me to write that.
(i didn’t not cough once while writing this long diatribe. but feel free to cough all you want while reading it!)’